[Merlin's smile turns a little wry at that statement.]
Some of the things I've done haven't exactly been the actions of a decent person. Even in the name of the greater good, I can see how it would be off-putting.
[Especially to someone like Captain America.]
[He laughs a little at the question, though.] Schedules can be worked around, no matter how complex. But in answer to your question, yes. I think you're a remarkable person, and not just because of the work you do. I would be lucky to have the opportunity.
[ Steve's expression goes serious. Pretty serious. And he looks Merlin right in the eye. ]
War isn't always about being decent, either.
[ He tried. He always did. He was never a coward. And they never did horrible things, not like some did. But that didn't mean he was innocent. He wasn't. And that was the kind of thing that kept him up at night.
But. They could deal with that together. That's what Sam was always telling him to do. Steve can't help but smile at a compliment like that. Formal, but that was Merlin for you. ]
Thanks. [ ... And he doesn't really know how to approach this next part. ] This is, uh. Kind of new for me. So maybe the schedules will be a benefit.
[Merlin offers Steve a nod of acknowledgement when he explains. Maybe they have more in common than he'd realized. But that's a discussion for a later time, and he gives him a small smile in return.]
We can meet up when the timing works out for us. When we have some downtime. I do have a mission coming up in the next few days that may take a couple of weeks, but after...would you want to have a drink with me? Somewhere casual.
[Merlin's managed to keep his cool through most of this, but that question catches him off-guard entirely. There might even be a faint hint of pink in his cheeks.]
The only other person who knows my name is Harry, and it took him years to get it out of me. But I think I can make an exception, if you promise not to laugh.
[a long pause] My name is Angus. But honestly, Merlin feels more like my real name to me than anything else now.
I never said I hated it. What I mean when I say Merlin feels more like my real name...it's been my identity for twenty years. Your name here isn't just a title, it's who you become. Unless you're a rebel, like Galahad. [he chuckles a little]
So hearing that name feels...strange, now. Like if someone started calling you a nickname from your childhood.
[ He can't help it. All the confusion and worry does not outweigh the need to kiss Merlin. A man - emphasis there - he hardly knows beyond work. But he finds himself needing to kiss him. It's the strangest thing. ]
[Merlin isn't expecting the kiss, but he's finding a lot of things are unexpected about Steve Rogers, and it's one of the things he likes about him. He returns it more than willingly, though this time he lets Steve guide them. His hands wander a little, just appreciating him with light touches before coming to rest at his shoulders again. He is suddenly grateful for the fact that he'd thought to put a couch in his office.]
[ This one isn't going to last long. Steve is-- still kind of hesitant about the whole thing. Kissing in general is not something he has a lot of experience in. So, he keeps it simple. Sweet and long and not very deep. Honestly, this was just fine for him. Appreciating Merlin, touching him along his arms and shoulders.
He can't get wrapped up. He's got a lot of thinking to do. And it wouldn't be fair to Merlin to lead him on thinking something else might happen. Plus, who knew how long they really had. He breaks the kiss... but lingers close. ]
We should probably stop before we get interrupted.
[Merlin's perfectly happy with the pace too, not complaining in the least when Steve pulls back. He just gives him an understanding smile and reaches for one of his hands, squeezing it gently.]
You're probably right. And I have some work to do, fighting you gave me some...useful results.
[he can't help the innuendo there, sorry Steve.]
I'll text you before my mission, and we can work out where to meet up for drinks when I get back. [He pauses for a moment, a little hesitant to ask this question.] Will you drop by again before I leave? This one might be...difficult.
[and he doesn't mean by a new recruit's standards]
[Merlin chuckles, appreciating Steve's humor about the situation. It's why they work so well together.] I'll be the luckiest agent out there if you do. I'll see you later, Steve.
[He makes good on his word before his mission, texting him occasionally (but not too often, he hopes) with casual updates, even a selfie or two. He's a little awkward about that, but somehow he makes them look decent regardless. He goes quiet the day before his mission, but he does next him before he leaves.]
[ He missed him. A lot. He probably shouldn't so soon but absence did make the heart grow fonder. Texts were a decent bandage but couldn't substitute for the real thing. The short time distant had been better. Steve had definitely decided he knew he liked Merlin and wanted to be with him. He was still working on the rest.
Now. To be on his way to wish Merlin good luck. He's still in the neighbourhood and it doesn't take long to get to him at all. ]
[It's almost a term of endearment, really, calling him that. He waits for him, and tries to calm his building anxiety by focusing on the pile of paperwork on his desk. It wouldn't do for Steve to see that he's nervous about the upcoming mission.]
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It's possible that it could. You already know what I do, and it doesn't seem to bother you.
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Don't see why it would.
[ A pause. He. Doesn't really know where to begin with this. ]
Would you want to? Date me, I mean. I don't exactly have the best schedule either.
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Some of the things I've done haven't exactly been the actions of a decent person. Even in the name of the greater good, I can see how it would be off-putting.
[Especially to someone like Captain America.]
[He laughs a little at the question, though.] Schedules can be worked around, no matter how complex. But in answer to your question, yes. I think you're a remarkable person, and not just because of the work you do. I would be lucky to have the opportunity.
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War isn't always about being decent, either.
[ He tried. He always did. He was never a coward. And they never did horrible things, not like some did. But that didn't mean he was innocent. He wasn't. And that was the kind of thing that kept him up at night.
But. They could deal with that together. That's what Sam was always telling him to do. Steve can't help but smile at a compliment like that. Formal, but that was Merlin for you. ]
Thanks. [ ... And he doesn't really know how to approach this next part. ] This is, uh. Kind of new for me. So maybe the schedules will be a benefit.
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We can meet up when the timing works out for us. When we have some downtime. I do have a mission coming up in the next few days that may take a couple of weeks, but after...would you want to have a drink with me? Somewhere casual.
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[ Probably the best thing he's heard in a while. He likes Merlin. A lot more than he realized but he still does. ]
Do I get to know your name then?
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The only other person who knows my name is Harry, and it took him years to get it out of me. But I think I can make an exception, if you promise not to laugh.
[a long pause] My name is Angus. But honestly, Merlin feels more like my real name to me than anything else now.
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He waits with anticipation. C'mon. It couldn't be that bad. And it wasn't. Steve smiled wide and leaned in again. ]
I guess no one calls you Gus?
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Do you really hate Angus?
[ He won't use it if he doesn't want it but. Maybe he's sentimental a little bit. ]
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So hearing that name feels...strange, now. Like if someone started calling you a nickname from your childhood.
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Fair enough. Merlin it is. Unless I want to really get your attention.
[ He won't, though. Not unless it was serious. ]
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I don't think you'll ever have a difficult time getting my attention.
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He can't get wrapped up. He's got a lot of thinking to do. And it wouldn't be fair to Merlin to lead him on thinking something else might happen. Plus, who knew how long they really had. He breaks the kiss... but lingers close. ]
We should probably stop before we get interrupted.
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You're probably right. And I have some work to do, fighting you gave me some...useful results.
[he can't help the innuendo there, sorry Steve.]
I'll text you before my mission, and we can work out where to meet up for drinks when I get back. [He pauses for a moment, a little hesitant to ask this question.] Will you drop by again before I leave? This one might be...difficult.
[and he doesn't mean by a new recruit's standards]
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[ Texting, visiting, he's only just now realizing that he was already pretty eager to do those things. Just-- didn't. Because they were professional.
Things have changed now. Steve stands to take his leave. ]
Text me before you leave and I'll give you a good luck kiss.
[ Things were easier if you turned them into jokes. ]
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[He makes good on his word before his mission, texting him occasionally (but not too often, he hopes) with casual updates, even a selfie or two. He's a little awkward about that, but somehow he makes them look decent regardless. He goes quiet the day before his mission, but he does next him before he leaves.]
Plane leaves in a few hours. You busy?
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[ He missed him. A lot. He probably shouldn't so soon but absence did make the heart grow fonder. Texts were a decent bandage but couldn't substitute for the real thing. The short time distant had been better. Steve had definitely decided he knew he liked Merlin and wanted to be with him. He was still working on the rest.
Now. To be on his way to wish Merlin good luck. He's still in the neighbourhood and it doesn't take long to get to him at all. ]
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[It's almost a term of endearment, really, calling him that. He waits for him, and tries to calm his building anxiety by focusing on the pile of paperwork on his desk. It wouldn't do for Steve to see that he's nervous about the upcoming mission.]